Hi Friends! I have two children. Two amazing, intelligent, loving, caring, and kind children. And yet, in some areas they couldn’t be anymore different. When a new challenge is presented to the two of them, my daughter is strong-willed and confident while my son is tentative and afraid of failure. And every time this scenario comes up, I am surprised at his gut-reaction to say no. I can’t. I don’t want to.

See, he is a natural athlete and scholar. He absorbs information like a sponge, retains it all, and when it comes to athletics, his body moves naturally at what my daughter needs to practice relentlessly at. And still, here we are. Anxious over the swim-band test here at the local swimming pool.

I prayed for a confident girl. I whispered affirmations in her ears before she could even understand the words. I prayed for a sweet and tender boy, I wiped every tear away. And as I sit at the pool watching the two of them I wonder if I had any place at all in this dynamic or was it inside of them from the very beginning.

And if it is in him to assume the “no” when faced with challenge, how can I move him towards the “I’ll try.”

When I ask him why he says “no”, is it that you are really just scared, he confirms.
And, I am stumped.

I want to throw him in the deep end while I say things like, “You can do anything you set your mind to.” It falls on deaf ears so I make an appointment for him at swim lessons. Maybe a win in the pool will translate into the other areas that he is afraid of. Maybe can’t is just his first thought and he’ll have to grow out of it.

I used to joke with his father that “NO“ was always his first answer to anything I proposed. A restaurant. A trip. An expense. Maybe I can hang this one on his DNA. 🙂

Until I figure it out or it resolves itself, I will continue to hold space for my boy.